1 July

Nut Brown, when he wants to brush his teeth, climbs up on to the bathroom counter and sits in the sink. He has learned the sign for 'please' and lately has begun to say 'peas' along with signing. He altered the sign for 'thank you' so that for him, it's putting his index finger on the corner of his mouth, and he 'says' thank you often without being reminded. So cute. And he made up his own sign for 'sorry' (brushing his fingers across his cheek) so now when we tell him, 'say you're sorry', he can.

We found a riding toy for him at a garage sale, a plastic horse on wheels that he scoots around on. He calls it his "naaaaay" and if you make horse sounds while he's riding it he pulls back on the handles so it rears a couple inches off the ground. The Wyoming postcard Grandpa sent recently with a herd of horses on it was extremely well-received.

4th of July

Received this invitation to the ward 4th of July breakfast on Sunday:

We the people of the Davenport 1st & 2nd Wards, in order to form a more perfect UNITY (Mosiah 18:21), establish HARMONY (Mom won't have to make breakfast), provide for the common HUNGER, promote the general EDIFICATION (there will be a display and presentation), and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity (let us not forget all that has come before to get us what we have today), do ANNOUNCE and INVITE ALL to this ANNUAL 4th OF JULY BREAKFAST for ALL THAT ARE HUNGRY (7am).

fun with futons

Nut Brown sleeps on a futon folded up into a couch. While getting ready for family prayer the other night, he climbed up on the back and jumped off, doing a bum drop onto the futon. He laughed and laughed, and did it again and again. (Rose Pink never did things like this. This is totally new for us.)

Last night he'd climbed on the back again but this time slipped and the sheet sagged away from the futon so he slid behind it. When he realized what had happened, he turned around and began to hide behind the sheet, and sit behind it and kick his legs. Rose Pink joined him and they would wrestle, one on top of the sheet and one underneath it. I gave up on the bedtime routine and blew them kisses and shut the door.

siblings

Yesterday, Rose Pink discovered that she was not going to be allowed to wear the necklace she wanted to church and began to cry. Nut Brown immediately came over and hugged her. When she is distressed, he always tries to comfort her by giving her a hug or finding her boppies for her.

grandparents

My mother and father were here over the weekend, stopping by on their way out to Utah. They stayed Saturday, Sunday, Monday with us, and we had a lot of fun. We went for walks, read books, ate lots of bag pops, went out to dinner, had my cousin and her husband over for dinner and went on a trip to the zoo. My parents were even kind enough to watch the kids for a couple hours on Monday afternoon and Spencer and I went on a date to Wal-Mart, his physical therapy appointment, and Sonic. Rose Pink is exceedingly fond of her grandparents, and Nut Brown started calling for his "Ba!" (Grandma). It was lovely to be with them, and we're looking forward to seeing them in July, and in August, and in September!

car

We bought a car yesterday!

I know this is a photo from a dealership, but this picture is a lot more similar to what our car looks like than any of the publicity images that turned up.

After driving the used 2009 Kia Rondo last week, we went back to look at a 2009 Rondo with extra fold-up seats in the back, and to drive a 2007 Rondo with a V6 instead of a V4. Spencer had pretty much decided that he wanted one. The dealer, to his chagrin, had just sold the last one with the extra row of seats a couple days ago so he didn't have one for us to see. So we drove the V6, and I liked it much better than the 2009. Spencer liked it too, except that it didn't have a USB port for playing MP3s, which the 2009 does. And no extra back row. But the price was only $9300, and Spencer said he was tired of car shopping, so we bought it.

Here is a shot of the interior. When we had this car for a rental, we remembered it as a mini-SUV, so when we went back to look at it again we were surprised to see it as really just a car. We love most the fact that the seats are so high off the floor. It's much more comfortable to sit in than our Honda (as much as I love our Honda). It has a better console design than the Odyssey that we drove. And it has tons of room in the cargo space behind the seats, even when they're not folded down. It feels like you're sitting above traffic and have lots and lots of space, even though the car doesn't actually look as big as it feels. It must be a mind trick that Kia has figured out.

It took two hours to actually buy it, and they kept getting confused by the fact that we were paying cash for it. But finally I wrote the biggest check that I've written in my entire life, and we drove it home. We kept looking out the window after we got home to check to make sure that it was still there. Sure enough. We are a two car family now.

garden

Drawings courtesy of Rose Pink, who drew these a few weeks ago and sent them to her grandma. They are intended to honor the fact that I am now eating peas from my garden, and they are sweet and delicious. Pods have multiplied into several dozen and the plants are still blooming! I am delighted. We also picked and ate the first head of lettuce, and it was also wonderful. I do like fresh vegetables. I'm very pleased with myself because I have two more generations of lettuce growing up now, so after we eat the second head, which is ready now, I have more lettuces to look forward to in another few weeks.

into things

In the past week or two, Max has learned:

-how to open his bedroom door

-how to open the car door (from the outside)

-how to open the microwave door

-how to turn on the microwave

Spencer just called to tell me that Max had dragged a chair over to the shelf where the digital camera was, removed the camera, opened the microwave, inserted the camera, and turned on the microwave. The house now smells like burned plastic, and we are in the market for a new camera!

family home evening

Yoroko taught us a delightful family home evening lesson the other night about birthdays! Attached are the notes that she and I created, with some of her comments during the preparation. She loves giving the lesson and impatiently waits for her turn to come up on the wheel.

Mom: A lesson about birthdays? What letter does 'birthday' start with?

Yoroko: buh buh buh.... B!

Mom: Great, can you draw a B? We could talk about Jesus' birthday.

Yoroko: Yes- can I draw a picture of a barn?

Mom: Sure. I'll just add a door, is that okay? When do we celebrate Jesus' birthday?

Yoroko: I don't know.

Mom: Christmas. So I'll just add this Christmas tree to remind you while you're giving the lesson.

Yoroko: Once there was a red barn on a hill. And inside people were getting married. But they weren't getting married...they were having a baby!!

Mom: We could talk about our family's birthdays. Can you draw a picture of our family?

Yoroko: Yes. We're all holding hands to cross the street.

Mom: Do you know why we celebrate our birthdays? Because that's when we left heaven to live on earth. I'll write that down for you to remember when you're giving the lesson.

Yoroko: Yes, and here's a mermaid, too. I was born feet first, and Max was born feet first, and Mommy was born feet first, and Daddy was born head first.

Daddy: No, that's not right. I was born feet first, and the rest of you were born head first.

Yoroko: No, Daddy, you had to come head first because your feet were TOO BIG!!!

Daddy: Oh, I see.

Yoroko: I think my head is a little too small. I'll draw it bigger next time.

Mommy: Another time that birthdays are important is for getting baptized. Can you draw a picture of getting baptized?

Yoroko: Yes. Look, the water's all bumpy. This is the boy, and guess what his name is? GIRLEE! And he has long earrings! And this is the girl, and guess what her name is, Mom. BOYEE! And her earrings are so long they reach the water!

Mommy: How many birthdays do you have to have to get baptized?

Yoroko: (sings) I can't wait until I'm eight!

Mommy: Right! Good job! I'll write an eight here so you can talk about it during your lesson.

Yoroko: That's not right, Mom. Eights have two circles. Here, I'll fix it for you.

more haitches

When walking outside, Max likes to swing from convenient hands, and once he grabs one parental finger he will shout, "Hend! Hend!" until the other parental offers a hand to complete the chain.

hose duty

We test drove a Honda Fit and decided that it didn't feel right and so we should get a minivan. We consulted Consumer Reports and saw that their top picks were Honda and Toyota, so on Saturday we took a Honda Odyssey for a spin. I thought it was alright, but Spencer didn't like it very much. This whole car buying thing is a little frustrating, because it feels like every time we decide what we want, something happens to change our minds and we're right back where we started. Our next step is going to be driving the Toyota minivan to see if Spencer likes it any better. We also heard that the Kia Rondo (our favorite rental car) has an option for two jump seats in the back- which would make it seven seats total, too. So we're checking on that as well.

-----------------

In other news, my pea plants have produced almost twenty pods and are still flowering. I am waiting anxiously for the pods to ripen. Above is a picture of Max helping Mom out with watering.

Max is learning the 'h' sound. Last night I was holding him, and Spencer was next to us, and he leaned over towards Spencer and said, "Hug!" We had a hug all together, and Max pushed Spencer away, and then repeated, "Hug!" We played the hug game for several minutes- so sweet to be loved on by our little boy!

Yoroko (at dinner): Can I pray? Can I pray?

Daddy: Okay, go ahead.

Yoroko: Dear Heavenly Father, please bless Mommy with big blessings, and please bless me with big blessings, and please bless Daddy with big blessings, and please bless Max with LITTLE blessings because he is so BAD...

Daddy: (insert lecture here about including others, and how prayer is not a method for excluding people, and how God is not happy when we don't act with love.)

Yoroko (grumpy): Dear Heavenly Father, please bless Mommy with medium blessings, and please bless me with medium blessings, and please bless Max with medium blessings, and please bless Daddy with BIG blessings, and please bless our food.

The continuing adventures of Max Manley

The continuing adventures of Max Manley

Adrian says: we are in so much trouble. He is jumping off of things.

birthday

Happy birthday to me! For my 30th birthday I had a huge cake with 30 candles and friends to blow them out with. My Iowa City in-laws made a list of 30 things they like about me, including the fact that I make stripey jello salad and take them to McDonalds. Thirty years old feels like I'm no longer young- not old yet, but not young any more- but then my mother reminded me that being thirty doesn't feel as old as having your daughter turn thirty.

As a birthday gift, Spencer gave me a spade that looks pretty lethal! It's got a serrated edge and it's sharpened. It's actually a mining tool but I can see it being extremely useful for gardening as well. In fact, it's already been useful. I planted a rhubarb plant in a vacant lot and used it. Fabulous.

the were-garage

Today Mr. Brown and Yo-chan and Max came to visit me for lunch. Walking back to the car, Yoroko asked about the building we were passing and I told her it was a warehouse. (I think it's Building 106.) You can always tell a warehouse by its distinctive dusty smell.

Yoroko: Mom, you know the were-garage by our house?

Mom: A were-garage? That eats cars? (makes silly biting face towards husband, who laughs)

Yoroko: No, the one where I ride my bike and you pull the wagon and we race?

Mom: Nooooo....oh, you mean the Gruenhagens' garage?

Yoroko: No, it's a where-garage!

Spencer: I usually just call it the Gruenhagens' garage, since they keep their stuff in it.

Yoroko: Yes, Daddy, it's a ware-garage, because they store things in it!!

Out-clevered again by our four-year-old.

reading

Grandpa recently sent us this book:

and it was an instant favorite. I remember reading this when I was a kid, and we literally read the covers off of it. Dad had to rebind it so we could keep reading it.

Then we ran across this at the thrift store:

...and it has unseated the other. At least temporarily. The best fifty cents we ever spent. Both kids love these books. Yoroko sits utterly absorbed as you're reading to her. Max wiggles enthusiastically and points energetically as he is learning new words. What fabulous books! Thank you, Grandpa, for sharing with us!

Learning to be Mom

I never suspected that I would end up as the stay at home parent, when I was a child I dreamt of being a chemical engineer(nanotechnology) or a microbiologist (to make cheese) or mostly the first Jedi Knight to join the Army Green Berets* (I'm still holding out on this one). Making the transition to being "Mom" is ongoing and very difficult for me, full of a seemingly infinite number of things I don't know how to do**. This change seems to come not gradually but in discreet increments as I discover some fact that in retrospect I can remember my mother and mother-in-law modelling. Some of these discoveries include: It is my responsibility to keep the house clean, it is not my responsibility to clean the house myself, there is greater peace in cleanliness than there is in relaxation, it is possible to feel fulfilled through my service to my wife and children but I have to work at it. Another discovery was that there is no mommy club that works to exclude the childless or stay at home dads, all mothers have feelings of isolation and loneliness, as stay at home parents are increasingly isolated from mainstream adult society.*** In learning to be "Mom" I have learned the truth of all those overly sentimental quotes about motherhood, It is the most important work than anyone can be engaged in, there is nothing that even a Jedi Knight in the Green Berets can accomplish that will matter to me as much as seeing my children grow into wonderful adults and then to be able to be with them in the eternities. Doing something else I might be of great benefit to society, but even if I ended poverty, pollution, and war it wouldn't mean as much to me as seeing my children grow in knowledge and faith. (though ending poverty, pollution and war would certainly be a close runner up) One of the most recent truths I've learned as I become "Mom" is that I have to change to become "Mom" there will be habits I have to give up and habits I have to learn, I will have to change my personality in some areas to become the person I need to be, in the long ago words of my big sister, "Mutability is the answer to everything" I can become "Mom" and someday may even master the infinite list.

*To be fair I actually wanted to create a new Special Forces Team, based on the awesomeness of my power, called either PsyOps or Magitek Rangers both names were stolen from me. Poor me.

**Keeping the House Clean, Keeping the dishes from piling up, keeping the family in clean clothes, Teaching manners, Getting kids to eat vegetables, Getting dinner on the table every night(much less at 5pm), finding time for church work and personal spirituality, finding time for dates with my wife... you get the picture.

***I have known a few people who have had children because they are convinced that then they will fit into the mommy club only to find the sometimes crushing isolation of stay at home parenthood to be far more overwhelming than not being in the mommy club.

Mother's Day

I had a really nice Mother's Day, mostly because I didn't listen to the talks at church and didn't hope for or expect anything. Spencer's gift to me was a two-hour nap, and the kids produced assorted paper crafts at church which they handed me. Very nice. One of the things that has always bothered me about Mother's Day is the attempt to include all women. The phrase "all women are mothers" has always particularly bothered me. And the one about how "all women can nurture children". If you want to celebrate all women, then let's call it Women's Day and celebrate women. Certainly women do deserve celebrating! I expect that some of my feelings come partly because I resent a bit the freedom that women without children enjoy, and on the day when those of us who cope daily with the difficulties and sacrifices that children entail get a bit of extra recognition, it seems unfair to me to try and make up to those who don't have to do that. I know this is a very rude and bigoted way of looking at it, because there are lots of women who want to have children and can't, and it's one of the few things that my husband doesn't like about me. HOWEVER, this Mother's Day I heard the best definition of motherhood ever, from Ardeth Kapp: "We can all rejoice in the sacred calling of motherhood. To give birth is only one part of this sacred mission.... But to help another gain eternal life is a privilege that is neither denied to nor delayed for any worthy woman." Helping another gain eternal life is indeed the whole point of raising children. And it certainly is something that anyone can help in, and defines motherhood in a way that I feel good about including all women. I know it seems silly, both my antagonism and the quote, but I'm glad to have ironed out that little bit of resentment a bit better.

the ocean

We just watched a documentary about ocean life, and Yoroko produced these drawings shortly afterward. Here we have a shark, with his mouth wide open so you can see all his sharp teeth: Here is a jellyfish:

This is a shrimp:

And this is a flying hippo:

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzip!

Max zips up his pajamas now! He learned to gallop by watching his slightly older cousin over Easter weekend. So now instead of running everywhere he gallops.